Why I hate Coffee

Coffee, for me, is never a good idea. I don’t like the taste of it. It’s too strong. I don’t like milk either, so I lace it with sugar. Mistake #1. I also, for whatever strange reason, tend to drink it fast. Mistake #2. And, I only ever ever drink it when I’m stressed out and have a lot of work to do. Does it ever help ? Yeah, that’d be a firm no.

So this evening, in a misguided attempt to keep myself awake long enough to get through my editing exercise (not my favourite subject, it must be said), I went and got myself a coffee. Regular Americano. Somehow I feel that the less milk the better. Less calories, I’m told, though I totally null this argument by then emptying 4 sachets of white sugar into the cup because it tastes so disgusting.

Not a good move, as it turns out. I don’t know how my partner for the project put up with me. I read things wrong, I made stupid and erratic comments, tried to change things that didn’t need to be changed and saw problems where there was none. For putting up with me, she deserves a medal. My mind was fuzzy: jumping like crazy from the caffeine and sugar buzz combined.

Compare this to the dreary headache just 2 hours later. The caffeine- hangover. As I walked home along Collins Avenue, I vowed, never again.

You see, the fact of the matter is, I’m a tea person. Not for me is the cool of waltzing into class with a coffee cup, or striding down corridors looking important while clutching a Starbucks. I may try to imitate those coffee-drinkers, sure. But look more closely. In my hand, that’s not coffee. It’s the full-on less-caffeinated granny drink. That, my friends, is tea.

I kind of have a tea fetish, probably born from my inability to drink coffee. This is, after all, Ireland, which means it’s freezing 80% of the time, and raining the other 20%. So at these times, we drink hot drinks. In fairness, mostly tea. But around university, us students are getting too cool for that craic. Now there’s Starbucks, Insomnia, Costa Coffee, the list goes on. There’s all kinds of coffees you can get now; Americano (aka regular coffee), Cappucino (small bit of coffee with frothy milk) Latte (basically a cup of milk with some coffee) Mocha (coffee with chocolate. Should work, but doesn’t). For some reason (I suspect Starbucks’ marketing, and Central Perk from Friends), coffee is chic. And tea is not.

I think we still associate tea with our parents, and our grandparents. In my first year at university, I offered some college friends tea when they came to my house, because- in my family anyway- that’s just what you do. I got a massive hug from one girl, who exclaimed that nobody yet, at college, had asked her did she want tea. This despite us going for coffee, multiple times.

But coffee truly is the devil’s drink. Lace it with sugar and it still does evil things to you. I can feel its effects now, which is why I’m still awake at 1am, probably. Yuck. Think, in future, I will stick to the tea.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s